Are you wondering why you aren't getting asked for a second date? Are you out of practice? Not sure what is or isn't working? Perhaps you just need to examine what NOT to do during your next "first" date.
Recently, while out to dinner, a couple that was obviously on a first date were seated next to us. Realizing that I was witnessing a helpful article for Here We Are, I wrote it down as it was happening. I confess, we eavesdropped through their entire dinner because the material was so good.
The tips you are about to read come directly from this couple's conversation. No doubt she was nervous. At one point, it was so painful to watch, I almost leaned over and said, "Too Much Information -- stop talking!" But that would have been AWKWARD! Instead, I share this list in hopes it will help another nervous gal navigate a first date.
The DON'T Rules of a First Date:
1. Don't talk about finances. Don't tell him how much money you make or what you own. Don't tell him how much you owe.
2. Don't talk about your friends. Don't tell him how funny your friends think you are. Don't tell him about your closet psycho friend - remember, birds of a feather flock together. Don't tell him how "crazy drunk" you and your friends were last summer in Cancun.
3. Don't invite yourself on a trip he is planning. You don't know him and it makes you sound overeager.
4. Don't talk about marriage. Don't tell him that you don't need to be married. Don't tell him that you want to be married by a certain age. Don't share your marital history.
5. Don't talk about private family details. Don't tell him about your bi-polar sister. Don't tell him about the rift you have with your brother-in-law. Don't tell him that your "parents fight whenever they drink but are happily married the rest of the time." (Yes, she actually said these words.)
6. Don't wear a trendy outfit unless it looks good on you. Don't buy the latest style to impress him if it doesn't look impressive on you. Don't wear anything that doesn't fit well.
7. Don't do all the talking. Don't forget to look at his plate -- if it is clear and yours is full, it is time to take a breath and eat!
8. Don't ask if he paid the check. If you are inclined to offer, don't pull out your wallet after the bill is paid.
It was clear from his body language and facial expressions, that this girl talked herself out of a second date. We think he decided at about #5 that this date was a dud.
We've all been in this woman's shoes (or maybe not, she was wearing ridiculously high platforms on which she could hardly walk resulting in very ungraceful movements) and have indulged in a few of these "don't" rules. By sharing them, I hope they are easy to recognize when you are on your own first date.
Have you ever said something on a first date you wish you hadn't? Done with dating? Then share them with your friend who isn't. These "Don't" Rules might just have her saying "I DO" one day!
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