Here We Are...with Luci

Full Moon Wishes

Part 12 of the HWA Series: Live Your Life Out Loud

Dreamers can find their way by moonlight and their only punishment is that they see the dawn before the rest of the world. ~ Oscar Wilde

This is a picture of the first full moon of 2012 (taken from my backyard deck). As children, we're taught to look up at the sky and "wish upon a star." There are also beliefs about wishing on a "new" moon's crescent. Whatever you like to wish upon, I think you'll agree that the light and energy of a full moon draws us in and calls to us to make a wish, share a dream, express a hope, set a goal.

Each month it shows up in all its glory, not just as a twinkle or a sliver, but as a full-faced presence. It has worked and waited each day to achieve its grandeur for the world to see.

Tonight I made a wish on the full moon, and I encourage you to express a wish, a dream, a hope, or a goal on it, too. Track yourself and see where you are next month. Let its light guide you toward your dreams, month to month, working each day to shine your light on the world! Wishing you fulfillment in 2012!

Bauble, Bauble... Do You Dare?

Part 11 of the HWA Series: Live Your Life Out Loud 

Several summers ago, I was in a book store with a friend. At the check out counter, there stood a ring tree adorned with large, costume, cocktail rings...Or, as I call them, Baubles. They were shiny, sparkly, colorful, and very eye-catching. Besides thinking this was a strange place to sell such trinkets, they exuded a charm and folly that was quite fascinating. It was as if the display was filled with fabulous Christmas baubles on a tree instead of showy jewelry.

Caught up in its size and hue, I tried one on similar to the one in the picture. It instantly made me smile. As I was turning my hand to catch the light, my friend shared a story about a colleague who wears a giant sized, bauble-like ring. She told me that, "It's on her hand every day to remind her to always enjoy life and not take it too seriously."

This season, I've seen similar rings for sale everywhere. It has me wondering why I didn't buy that ring, even though I loved the "reminder" message it could deliver. Did I secretly think the fashion police would jump out and say, "Aha! We always knew you belonged in a carnival?" Some women can pull off a bauble like this, while others wouldn't dare (I've learned that I'm somewhere in the middle).

Whatever the reason at the time, I now wear a baubley charm bracelet; some charms carry a significance, and others are fun and make me smile. It's not expensive; the true value is in its "reminder" message. There is something about they way it shines on the outside that reminds me to shine on the inside. At any moment, no matter what is happening around me, I can look down and it helps me instantly reassess the situation in a positive way. This may sound as frivolous as some of the jewelry might appear, but I share this with you, and the lesson I learned, to encourage you to find something that helps you to let yourself shine every day.

Bauble, bauble... Do you dare to wear? Tell us if you wear something that reminds you to shine. Share with us!

How To Live Your Life Out Loud

Part 10 of the HWA Series: Live Your Life Out Loud

This morning, for no good reason, I decided to skip the scheduled article. After thinking about it all day, it wasn't clear what I would write for you until I opened up Until Today!: Daily Devotions for Spiritual Growth and Peace of Mind.   

This book stays on a shelf behind my desk so I can easily reach it when the mood hits. When I opened it, the ribbon-marker sat between April 2 & 3, so it has been a while since this book called out to me. Funny thing about this book... It is one of those from which the message is always exactly what you need that day.

Today, May 11, was no different. After I read this passage, the answer was loud and clear that I should share with you Iyanla Vanzant's thoughts on living your life out loud.

The title of today's message reads, "I am now receptive to the idea that ... it is time for me to stop whispering and to start living out loud." Here are some of the pertinent excerpts, as taught by Iyanla, that can help us learn to live out loud today and every day.

[S]top holding yourself back and playing yourself down! Stop worrying about how you look and what people are saying ... Stop waiting for someone to tell you that you are okay or to make you feel special. ... Living out loud means having the courage to be exactly who you are without apology. It means admitting your mistakes ... not taking who you are or what you have for granted. ... focusing on what is ... showing up as your authentic Self ... acknowledging your shortcomings ... celebrating your strengths ... broadcasting your needs, your likes and dislikes ... you let people know exactly who you are ... you must love yourself enough to tell yourself and everyone else the absolute truth about you. ... Just for today, take one step toward pumping up the volume. ... Stand up and be yourself! (Ellipses, emphasis added.)

10 Things We Can Learn From Geraldine Ferraro

Part 9 of the HWA Series, Live Your Life Out Loud

Every day is an opportunity to learn life lessons from each other. After watching the news reports about the life and passing of Geraldine Ferraro, a pattern of strength and determination emerged.

Regardless of one's political position, as women, we can all learn from the way she lived her life.

1. She didn't change herself to satisfy an unfair double standard

2. She spoke her mind regardless of any impending backlash

3. She had the courage to face harsh criticism and keep going

4. She "unlocked" a large door for other women to kick open

5. She didn't retreat when actions by family members could have tainted her reputation

6. She kept going after a hard fight and an even harder loss

7. She stayed true to herself, stepping out of the shadow of her running mate

8. She maintained her own identity while raising a family

9. She successfully balanced public and private life

10. She didn't let a disease define her legacy

For Geraldine Ferraro, and the multitude of other women that have struggled to unlock the doors, thank you for helping the rest of us to live our lives out loud.

 

No More WOE (Waste Of Energy)

 Part 8 of the HWA Series, Live Your Life Out Loud

Like time, personal energy is the one resource which we all receive an incalculable amount, limited by internal and external forces. It isn't a commodity like gasoline that can be stored up, so how we use it is key to a balanced, healthy lifestyle.

Well spent energy keeps us going with a "full speed ahead" momentum. Wasted energy zaps us. You know it when the zap happens, it leaves you feeling sapped. What remains is an unease in your gut, accompanied by general disappointment.

This drained response is WOE (AKA Waste of Energy). When WOE infiltrates your life, whether caused by another person, an incident, or a bad decision, we become depleted. The experience has yielded nothing but a Waste of Energy. The sad things is, you can't get it back, it's gone; now you have to recharge, regroup, and rest up to feel whole again. 

Don't let there be a "next time." Notice what, who, or how these events thunder into your life short circuiting your healthy energy supply. Decide from this moment forward, that you will take the necessary steps to limit the external forces that zap your energy. If you need a little support in building your approach to staving off WOE in the future, here are a few tips to help you maintain this important, natural resource. 

☀ Learn to sniff out potential zappers: If you smell the milk and discover it's sour, do you go back and smell it again? NOOOO! You dump it and move on.

☀ Refuse to carry the weight of "should" around: If you need some support with this new attitude, then listen to The "Should" Show: Give Your Shoulders A Rest.

☀ Keep your ears open and LISTEN: If you aren't sure what to listen for, remember what Maya Angelou teaches, "When people tell you who they are, believe them." We discussed this further in A Leopard Doesn't Change Its Spots. 

☀ Always consider the source of the zapper, then unplug yourself from it. It is a simple as that!

Do you have any tips for conserving your energy? Have you tried any of these approaches. Share with us.

Just BE Yourself

Part 7 of the Here We Are series, Live Your Life Out Loud

 

To avoid criticism...

Do nothing,

say nothing,

be nothing. 

 

This quote by Elbert Hubbard is an easy one to remember for next time you are on the edge of taking a risk, speaking up, or reacting from your gut. Just BE yourself and don't worry about anyone or anything else. You'll feel better for it.

 

 
 

Where Are You? Three Simple Steps To Keep You Going

Part 6 of the Here We Are series, Live Your Life Out Loud

Today is day #208 of 2010. There are five months or 157 days left in the year to do what you set out to do this year. Where are you so far with your hopes, dreams, plans for the year? It is as good a time as any to reassess, reevaluate, and remind yourself of what it is you want to achieve or accomplish.

First, acknowledge and reward yourself for those things that have been completed. Then analyze the items idling on your list. Are they still important to you or meaningful in your life? If the answer is YES, rewrite them with a new perspective of what you've learned this year; write a "how you can get it done now" plan beside each item.

Second, if the answer is NO, but you don't want to give up on the item, don't feel pressure; instead, take the time to think about why it wasn't done. If it is still possible and probable that you can do it, rewrite it and decide "how you can get it done" on or before the year's end.

Third, if your current circumstances prevent it from happening, it is no longer important to you, or meaningful in your life, admit that this item is a NEVER and cross it off the list. Say, "goodbye, so long, farewell!" This admission with a definitive send off will provide you with a sense of relief. Be happy, you are free of it once and for all.

Keep moving forward from where you are now using these three simple steps. At the end of the year, you will get to where you are going!

Passion: Relight Your Fire

Part 5 of the Here We Are series, Live Your Life Out Loud

Have you been feeling like "life is living you," instead of you "living your life" by following your passion? If things are getting in the way, and time is passing by faster and faster, then it is time to say STOP and relight your fire! 

We aren't talking about romantic passion, but the passion that resides in you. It's the thing that consistently sparks your imagination and interest, draws your attention, piques your curiosity, and makes you feel happy. Perhaps you are lucky enough to know what it is, or maybe your are still discovering it; either way, if you aren't "living" it, then everyday life may have extinguished the flame.

Get out the matches, take a deep breath, and fire up your life with these easy steps to rekindle your passion:

P = Prioritize your passion. Whether it's a dream, a goal, a calling, identify it clearly and make it #1 on your personal list.

A = Assess your situation in an honest, self-forgiving way. It is never too late to start, you can do it, it's not silly, and who cares what anyone else thinks.

S = Simplify your life. Make strong decisions to de-clutter what is not working for you; this means stuff and people. It isn't easy, but the rewards are worth the difficulties you'll encounter.

S = Set up an "action" plan. What do you know? Have? Need? Want? How will you get there? Make a Mind Map to figure out step 1, step 2, step 3, and so on, that will bring you to where you want to be.

I = Initiate your "action" plan. Inch by inch, step by step, even if they are baby steps...just start.

O = Obliterate obstacles. Know that things will try to get in your way. Expect them, immediately act on them, and move them aside as you light your way forward.

N = New experiences, new life, new you. Let them happen, welcome and enjoy them. Give yourself over to your new life of living your passion.

You worked hard to get here, keep the fire burning, the glow looks good on you! Did I miss anything? What are ways you've kept your passion alive?

"I'll Try" Means Nothing, "Do" Gets It Done

Part 4 of the Here We Are series, Live Your Life Out Loud 

How many times a week do you hear yourself telling someone, "I'll try to ____?" If you aren't saying it, you're probably making a mental note of it. Each time you entertain the insidious phrase, "I'll try," you apply extra pressure upon yourself to fulfill something that, in most cases, you deep down do not want to do. 

The things we say and think about carry energy, often weighing us down. "I'll try" clouds your intentions; it means nothing and doesn't move you forward or free up your time. Simply removing "try" and swapping in the word "do" will render immediate results.

"Do" gets it done, making you proactive and clearing away mental clutter. Once you surrender to the "do," the action becomes easier because "try" is no longer lingering among all the other things that you have on your mind or on your list.

Not sure what I am referring to? Next time you catch yourself using this phrase, note the "tug" you feel in your gut or mental hesitation that accompanies the words as they roll off your tongue.

Here are three easy ways to conquer this pesky three letter word:

1. Think about all the events you say you'll "try to make," knowing you can't or won't attend. Then when the day arrives you feel bad or guilty for not attending. This doesn't help the host, it hurts your reputation, and adds to your stress level. Next time, say no thank you right away; you'll save face, and maybe your relationship with the host. If attending isn't "do-able" the day you are asked, chances are it won't be a month from now.

2. Examine your "to-do" list and honestly assess the items that evoke the lackluster feelings of "I'll try." Rank them in order of importance behind the items you actually "want / must / need to do." You will find that many of the "try" items are ones you have no connection to, desire for, or deep need to fulfill. What to do? Tell yourself it's okay and get a pen, then cross them off your list. Done! Ahhh...that just saved you a bunch of time and stress.

3. Of course, there will be times "try" comes up naturally in a conversation. For example, you will catch yourself saying, "I'll try to send you that document by 5:00," or "I'll try to call the restaurant for the reservation," or even, "I'll try to remember to put your Tupperware in my car." STOP in your "trying" tracks and rephrase it to, "I'll ____" and then just do it ASAP. By using the "do it now" approach, you will find the task is off your mind - and doesn't even make it to your "to-do" list - because it is done!

As women, we are innately verbal beings. Vocabulary is one key to unlocking clearer ways to approach life. In Living Our Lives Out Loud, we must examine how we internalize our words and thoughts. Recently, on the Here We Are radio show, we focused on the word, "should," in The "Should" Show: Give Your Shoulders A Rest. We discussed how it delivers pressure, expectations, and control put on us by others as well as ourselves.

With continued awareness, practice, and new word selections, we can make easy, purposeful changes at the core level. Next time, and there will be a next time, don't try, just do! 

Share with us the next time, "TRY became DO - and TaDa - it was done!"

The "Should" Show: Give Your Shoulders A Rest

Part 3 of the Here We Are series  - 

Live Your Life Out Loud

CLICK HERE to listen to the HWA radio show, "The Should Show: Give Your Shoulders A Rest."

Does the word "should" cause you guilt or pressure? This word can put invisible weight upon our shoulders. Beyond basic communications, the words we choose send messages to others and resonate within ourselves. Join us to discuss how "should" can deliver a hard punch of power-plays, pressure, expectations, control, and doubt; and how you can fight back with a new freeing approach that will help you relax those heavy shoulders.

While this show is for all women, if you answered "yes" to Question #10 of the GTSS = Goodie Two-Shoes Syndrome quiz, then this show will give you some much needed moxie. My co-host, Susan Ragazzo, and I share our experiences in the ongoing effort to uncover barriers and identify roadblocks that drain women of time and energy as we help in the journey to Live Your Life Out Loud.

Instead of cringing when the word "should" shows its bad self, lighten your load and get rid of it and its baggage once and for all time! You'll think you lost 10 pounds...ahhh!

Reminder: "Time" And "Talk" This Sunday

TIME: Don't forget to set your clocks AHEAD an hour before you go to bed on Saturday night. It's Daylight Savings Time again, and it begins on Sunday, March 14, at 2:00am in the continental United States. For the international Here We Are readers, check the DS Times Around the World - BTW, thanks to everyone for continuously popping by HWA!

TALK: Now that you've set your clocks, grab a cup of coffee and join us this Sunday for Part 3 of the Live Your Life Out Loud series under the HWA Women in Media and Culture category. This segment of the series will actually be "out loud" on the HWA radio show.

We will be live on March 14, at 12:30pm EST for The "Should" Show: Give Your Shoulders A Rest. Words carry messages and the word "should" carries a lot of weight, often causing unnecessary guilt and pressure for women. Does this word makes you cringe? Then it is time to be rid of it - and its baggage - once and for all.

NOTE: If you answered "yes" or "sometimes" to Question #10 of the GTSS=Goody Two-Shoes Syndrome quiz, then this show is especially important for you!

Call-in at (646)929-2473 and share your thoughts!

GTSS = Goody Two-Shoes Syndrome

Part 2 of the Here We Are series, Live Your Life Out Loud

Are you the "good girl" who always follows the rules? Do you try to keep things moving along without confrontation? Many women in our society suffer from a chronic case of GTSS, also known as Goody Two-Shoes Syndrome. It may be tough to overcome this deeply ingrained plague on your personality, but it's not impossible.

The Live Your Life Out Loud series is here to help. This article is all about identifying the elements of being a Goody Two-Shoes. To find out if you have it, answer "yes" or "no" to the HWA non-scientific GTSS quiz. Be honest and note your answers - remember, no one is watching!

Take the Goody Two-Shoes Syndrome Quiz:

➊ Do you worry about what others think?

➋ Are you afraid to piss people off because they may not like you?

➌ Do you find yourself agreeing to things that you don't want to do?

➍ Do you find yourself agreeing to attend events you are not interested in?

➎ Do you always go "above and beyond" the call of duty?

➏ Do you avoid face to face confrontation at all cost? (This is different from #2)

➐ Do you always try to follow the rules?

➑ Do you find yourself wanting to change the discussion, but refrain from speaking up?

➒ Are you worried about your "permanent" record?

➓ Is the word "should" weighing you down with obligations?

Diagnosis A: If you answered "no" to all: Wow! You go girl! You are Living Your Life Out Loud with pure "caution be damned" gusto!

• Prescription A: Keep it up and share with other women who need a little help overcoming GTSS.

Diagnosis B: If you answered "yes" to three or fewer questions: you have a mild case of GTSS. Not too shabby girlfriend!

• Prescription B: Focus on each of the scenarios to which you responded "yes." Make a decision to answer with a firm "no" or take the active position the next time the situation arises, i.e., speaking up when there is a verbal bully at a dinner table.

Diagnosis C: If you answered "yes" to five or fewer: you have a compounding case of GTSS.

• Prescription C: Time to analyze why, and most importantly, recognize the situations as they are occurring. Then you can say "no" at the time the circumstance presents itself. Curing GTSS requires immediate attention and practice, practice, practice. Pick the one that happens most frequently and change your response. You are halfway there, stay the course. NOTE: Others may not like your new response, but tough nuts on them. It's time to think about yourself for a change.

Diagnosis D: If you answered "yes" to six or more: Ouch! You have a severe case of GTSS.

• Prescription D: Don't worry, this is a process and you already took the first step by taking the quiz, answering honestly, and evaluating yourself. Start today by implementing the prescriptions for B & C (above). Pick one scenario that repeatedly plagues you and attack it until you are in control. For instance, the next time someone expects your time at an event or gathering that you do not want to attend, say no immediately and be done with it. This sounds easy, but some people find it hard to say "no" to anything. The biggest challenge to a severe case of GTSS is feeling overwhelmed. That is why the "one symptom of GTSS at a time" approach will yield noticeable improvement. This work takes commitment and time, but will be well worth the effort. When you are cured of GTSS, you'll be on your way to Living Your Life Out Loud and loving every minute of it!

As we continue the HWA Live Your Life Out Loud series, we will be addressing many of the issues that contribute to GTSS. Hang in there, and remember to take care of yourself, use the word "no" when you really want to...and if you miss the chance, another scenario will show up shortly for you to practice on.

After you take the quiz and determine your level of GTSS, please comment and tell us the hardest symptoms of GTSS for you to overcome. If you've overcome one or more, tell us how you did it. Sharing makes it easy for the next person because it helps them to know they are not alone. 

Our Deepest Fear: Stepping Into Your Power

Part 1 of the Here We Are series, Live Your Life Out Loud 

Are you struggling to bloom into the rose you were meant to be? It may be time to step into your power and become the person that lights up a room, lives to her fullest potential, thereby encouraging the best in others. She is in there, and you know it!

Don't be afraid that this is too hard to accomplish or that empowerment will take more energy than you have to make a change. Sometimes all it takes is the realization that you have been "shrinking" in order to "keep the peace," "don't rock the boat," or "protect other people's feelings." If you recognize these feelings in your life, then this excerpt will give you the support you are seeking.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. ~ Marianne Williamson, from the book, A Return To Love

Dare to be brilliant, talented, fabulous, interesting, outspoken, and anything else you want to be. Amazing things will happen when you step into your power and let your light shine for the world to see!

Bringing Back Rites of Passage

A Guest Post by Donna Maria Coles Johnson, Indie Business Blog

When my daughter, Vanessa, was born, I made the conscious decision not to have her ears pierced while she was an infant. I studied this issue very carefully while I was pregnant and I knew that the nurses in the delivery room would perform the service for free if I asked them to. This seemed appealing considering it would save me the trouble later and my daughter would never remember the pain of the piercing.

On the other hand, I have a very vivid memory of the day my ears were pierced. I had begged my mother for months to let me have them pierced. She'd never had her ears pierced so it was not a priority for her. She kept saying that I was too young.

Finally, one day, at the shopping mall, she let me do it. I was so excited, you would have thought I had been given a new car. I waited patiently in line behind two other girls who were much younger than my 16 years. They barely winced when the piercing "gun" went off. When it was my turn, it was over in an instant. It was a simple process, but for me, it was nothing short of an introduction to womanhood.

Now, I thought, I could be glamorous. I could wear coordinating ear ring, necklace and bracelet sets. I could move my head and watch my ear rings dangle. I could catch people's attention by the way a gold hoop or a silver shape caught the light.

I had arrived.

Kathy Ireland: A Model Message For All Women

Kathy Ireland's latest book, Real Solutions For Busy Moms, Your Guide to Success and Sanity, offers readers a well-designed, practical plan on topics that range from money matters to household safety.

NOTE: A new copy, signed by Kathy, is the May Gift Giveaway for a Here We Are reader who comments on any entry during this month (you must be subscribed by email).

At a recent event, as Kathy signed the copy, she also included the message, "Please take care of yourself." While the book focuses on "Moms," it carries a message for all women to remember to first take care of oneself. There are several chapters dedicated to this very idea, "No I In Mom," and "Your Best You."

Are you taking care of "you?" If you have to pause to think about the last time you did anything for yourself, the answer is probably "no." During a discussion of the book, Kathy spoke about this very issue women encounter, "Take time for yourself before everyone else...YOU are a member of your family, so taking care of your family means taking care of yourself." This seems simple enough, but why is it so many women struggle with this common, self-induced dilemma?

While I don't claim to have the answer, one of the reasons Here We Are exists is to help busy women enjoy a variety of useful topics. It also exists as a place to explore ideas, thoughts, and important issues to empower women to live a better, brighter, easier lifestyle on our way to running the world. If we can't take care of ourselves, we will never run the world. We will just stay exhausted, distracted, and begin to forget who we are as individuals. If we are not strong individually, we can not be strong collectively.   

Yes, this is a complex, and perhaps, an uncomfortable area to explore; but we have to begin thinking in terms of our own best personal treatment or lack thereof. It is not selfish, egotistical, or vain. It is self-preserving, self-honoring, and necessary.

So tonight, tomorrow, and the day after...implement Kathy's message as a model to shape your life each and every day, "Please take care of yourself."

Tell us your approach to taking care of yourself or how you will begin this process by adding a comment below.

Helping Hearts Pound By Pound

Dear Here We Are Readers:

Recently, a charity drive for the Children's Heart Surgery Fund in the UK came to my attention. The drive is organized by Chris Garrett, a blogging authority whose guidance is  one of the reasons Here We Are exists. It pains me to think of any kid being sick, so when I learned of Chris' effort I decided to pitch in to help a good cause.

I discovered it is a worthy organization that "funds valuable equipment, resources and research for the treatment of children with heart defects and provides a happy and relaxed atmosphere within the hospital for both the children and their families."  The goal of this fund drive is 10,000GBP (British Pound Sterling).

With the economy tanking, "donation fatigue," and people losing jobs, homes, and hope, I pondered why it is important to help this fund drive. I began thinking about women with sick children. The nameless, faceless mothers, sisters, aunts, grandmothers of sick babies, toddlers, and teens. As you know by now, Here We Are is written by women for women with an emphasis on making women's lives better, brighter, and easier as we move forward in running the world. Think of the rewards and positive effect women would have on the current state of affairs around the world if we, as a force, could be making the important decisions. Thinking big and taking action will get us there one day soon. In the meantime, helping and supporting each other every day in different ways will move this process along.

This month, a donation will be made to Chris' Fund Drive in lieu of our February Gift Giveaway. While we do not ask our readers for money on Here We Are, we do ask that you will consider donating a small amount if you can to this drive. Every Dollar, Pound, or Euro lends hope to a woman who has worry in her gut and a tear in her eye for her ailing child.

It is easy to donate. Justgiving, the donation service hosting the drive, takes credit cards or PayPal. They take care of the conversion rate (click link to figure out the $ amount you wish to give; NOTE: you must pay in Pounds and there is a 2 Pound minimum. For example, 2-GBP will cost you approx. $2.85US). PLUS: As explained in this cute video, a bit of extra money is added by the British government to certain donations.
Justgiving Fees - Explained in Video! from Justgiving on Vimeo.

As February, the month of the heart, comes to a close, I hope you will consider reaching out to another woman in the world to help her child's heart become healthier pound by pound.

Thank you so much!

Luci

Not Today…A Quote For All Seasons and All Women

As the year winds down, reflection starts to set in. We ponder what might have been done differently, the boundaries we set or not, and the plans we want to implement in the New Year. I offer up a tiny tool with big impact to aid you from adding more to your daily routine. It is something I will be using today, tomorrow, and into the New Year as it is forever cemented into my vernacular.

On Christmas Eve, a little girl taught me a big girl quote. My two-year-old niece, Angelina, has mysteriously come up with the perfect quote for women of all ages to draw on in awkward moments. After opening a gift of less than thrilling wool hats, she was asked if she would like to try them on. She politely, but firmly stated, “Not today.” You can see her reaction to these hats in the above photo.

It wasn’t off-putting, insulting, or offensive, but rather definitive, simple, and clear without a trace of guilt, worry, or second-guessing herself. These two little words shoot straight to the point. There is no mixed message or cloudy intent. It is an answer that conveys neither a positive nor a negative point of view on the topic, and yet speaks volumes about your position.

We have all had a tongue-tied moment, a thorny incident, or a tricky confrontation where “Not today,” could have saved stress, time, and energy. Looking back, I think…Aha, if only I had said “Not today” in so many of these situations. Well now I will, and you can, too. So today, tomorrow, and into the New Year, whenever you are put on the spot, remember to practice this quote…simply say, “Not today.”

Try it out and let us know what happens or share another response you use that is effective.