Here We Are...with Luci

GTSS = Goody Two-Shoes Syndrome

Part 2 of the Here We Are series, Live Your Life Out Loud

Are you the "good girl" who always follows the rules? Do you try to keep things moving along without confrontation? Many women in our society suffer from a chronic case of GTSS, also known as Goody Two-Shoes Syndrome. It may be tough to overcome this deeply ingrained plague on your personality, but it's not impossible.

The Live Your Life Out Loud series is here to help. This article is all about identifying the elements of being a Goody Two-Shoes. To find out if you have it, answer "yes" or "no" to the HWA non-scientific GTSS quiz. Be honest and note your answers - remember, no one is watching!

Take the Goody Two-Shoes Syndrome Quiz:

➊ Do you worry about what others think?

➋ Are you afraid to piss people off because they may not like you?

➌ Do you find yourself agreeing to things that you don't want to do?

➍ Do you find yourself agreeing to attend events you are not interested in?

➎ Do you always go "above and beyond" the call of duty?

➏ Do you avoid face to face confrontation at all cost? (This is different from #2)

➐ Do you always try to follow the rules?

➑ Do you find yourself wanting to change the discussion, but refrain from speaking up?

➒ Are you worried about your "permanent" record?

➓ Is the word "should" weighing you down with obligations?

Diagnosis A: If you answered "no" to all: Wow! You go girl! You are Living Your Life Out Loud with pure "caution be damned" gusto!

• Prescription A: Keep it up and share with other women who need a little help overcoming GTSS.

Diagnosis B: If you answered "yes" to three or fewer questions: you have a mild case of GTSS. Not too shabby girlfriend!

• Prescription B: Focus on each of the scenarios to which you responded "yes." Make a decision to answer with a firm "no" or take the active position the next time the situation arises, i.e., speaking up when there is a verbal bully at a dinner table.

Diagnosis C: If you answered "yes" to five or fewer: you have a compounding case of GTSS.

• Prescription C: Time to analyze why, and most importantly, recognize the situations as they are occurring. Then you can say "no" at the time the circumstance presents itself. Curing GTSS requires immediate attention and practice, practice, practice. Pick the one that happens most frequently and change your response. You are halfway there, stay the course. NOTE: Others may not like your new response, but tough nuts on them. It's time to think about yourself for a change.

Diagnosis D: If you answered "yes" to six or more: Ouch! You have a severe case of GTSS.

• Prescription D: Don't worry, this is a process and you already took the first step by taking the quiz, answering honestly, and evaluating yourself. Start today by implementing the prescriptions for B & C (above). Pick one scenario that repeatedly plagues you and attack it until you are in control. For instance, the next time someone expects your time at an event or gathering that you do not want to attend, say no immediately and be done with it. This sounds easy, but some people find it hard to say "no" to anything. The biggest challenge to a severe case of GTSS is feeling overwhelmed. That is why the "one symptom of GTSS at a time" approach will yield noticeable improvement. This work takes commitment and time, but will be well worth the effort. When you are cured of GTSS, you'll be on your way to Living Your Life Out Loud and loving every minute of it!

As we continue the HWA Live Your Life Out Loud series, we will be addressing many of the issues that contribute to GTSS. Hang in there, and remember to take care of yourself, use the word "no" when you really want to...and if you miss the chance, another scenario will show up shortly for you to practice on.

After you take the quiz and determine your level of GTSS, please comment and tell us the hardest symptoms of GTSS for you to overcome. If you've overcome one or more, tell us how you did it. Sharing makes it easy for the next person because it helps them to know they are not alone. 

Engaged? It's Time To Think About A Pre-Nup and Who Gets To Keep The Ring If You Break Up

CLICK HERE to listen to the latest Here We Are Radio Show episode, "So You Got Engaged! It's Time To Think About A Pre-Nup & Who Gets To Keep The Ring If You Break Up!"

If you are engaged or moving in with your significant other, there are lots of plans to make in the next few months. It's time to consider a prenuptial agreement and/or a cohabitation agreement. Matrimonial and family law attorney, Judith Hartz, our guest expert, is here to discuss this thorny topic -- as well as, WHO gets to keep the ring if you break up. While diamonds are a girl's best friend, it doesn't always stay that way, so tune in and be prepared!

Whether you are starting a business, have a lot, or very little, be sure to take the proper steps to protect your future. While bringing up the issue to your fiancé might be AWKWARD, it is definitely NECESSARY and SMART! 

Judith Hartz, Esq., is a partner at Kozyra & Hartz. She has been specializing in the area of family law for 19 years. She won the 2005 Family Lawyer of the Year award; co-authored several articles on the issue of custody; and serves as an editor on the New Jersey Family Lawyer publication. You may recognize Judith as the guest expert on the popular HWA radio show, Much To Do About Divorce - Positioning Yourself Before You Ask Or Are Asked.

{This legal information is being presented by Here We Are as a service to its readers and listeners and is for educational purposes only. It is not intended to constitute legal advice. It is not meant to substitute for competent legal counsel from a licensed attorney in your state. You should neither act nor rely on any of the information without first consulting a lawyer who will apply the current laws to your specific circumstance or situation.}

La Ishá: A Truly Timeless Beauty Line

Featured Article - WOMB: Woman On a Mission in Business 

Meet Sharon Gnatt Epel, the first Here We Are featured Woman On a Mission in Business. We are proud and excited to introduce Sharon and her outstanding product line, La Ishá - Timeless Beauty Through Healthy Alternatives. One look at her gorgeous skin and you say to yourself, "I'll use what she is using!"

Sharon was selected for WOMB because she epitomizes today's woman in business who takes charge, makes strides, and lives her life out loud by using her business to prosper while helping others. This accomplished woman blends together her experience, education, and determination to establish La Ishá as a company that supports both green practices and women's causes while offering a beauty line that is safe and effective for women over 35.

Her passion to support women to achieve their full potential is the foundation for the creation of La Ishá. Sharon is dedicated to the "empowerment, education, well-being, and independence of women everywhere." The care, research, and reliance on nature combined with good corporate practices are reflected in the quality of her products. What is going on at La Ishá is more than skin deep, it is a mission to develop "natural high-performance skincare that enhances beauty without the use of ingredients that sacrifice long or short-term health." 

La Ishá products are unique from products you will find on a store shelf or at a department store counter. They are made to order in small batches from an ingredient list that reads like a who's who of natural beauty stars including pomegranate and rose hip seed oils, essential oils of rose and sandalwood, Vitamin E, Amber and more; most are organically derived. It is also important to stress this product line does NOT contain synthetic chemicals or preservatives, fillers, artificial colors, chemical fragrances, phthalates, parabens, or any known potential cancer-causing agents.

While priced at the higher end, the purity and effectiveness of the quality ingredients make these long-lasting products worth every penny. The eye-dropper applicators work to control the small amount of product needed for each application. The packaging is lovely and can be recycled. Over the last several months, I have thoroughly tested the following three La Ishá products:

The Orange-Coconut Face Polish exfoliates dead skin cells with a sugar base and smells as tasty as a poolside drink. To maximize the moisturizing properties of the base oils, I used this product at night before bed. Apply warm water to cleansed skin, apply a dime size amount of the polish, leave it on for a few minutes, gently scrub the sugar crystals in a circular motion, rinse off, lightly pat dry. (Avoid eye area.) The remainder of the oils will penetrate your skin leaving it feeling refreshed and smooth in the morning. This is a treat without the pina colada calories!

The Gentle Aromatherapy Face Wash is indeed gentle but packs an amazing cleansing punch. A few drops is all you need to wash away the day. I found that beyond being an effective cleanser, the aroma-therapeutic benefits had me reaching for this cleanser every night. Good for your skin and your spirit!

The Pomegranate Moisture Booster is 100% Pure Organic Pomegranate Seed Oil. It is an unadulterated, full-strength "must have" item to add to facial moisturizer. If you aren't sure where to start with this line, this is a good choice to sample La Ishá's purity. Not only is it cost effective, it is easy to add to your favorite moisturizer for some extra potency. I added it to a number of different moisturizers and saw an immediate improvement in my skin each time I used it. A natural way to supercharge your beauty routine!

All the La Ishá products are "Created by Women for Women." The Breast SOS serum may put Sharon ahead of the beauty and health industry. Recently, a study published in the January 2010 issue of Cancer Prevention Research, found that pomegranates may "stop or slow down the growth of breast cancer." CBS News 4 in Denver featured the study in this video clip. Breast SOS is the first "all-natural, synthetic-free topical skincare formulation designed to support the beauty and health of the breast and dècolletè areas."

Sharon stated in a recent press release that, "While these studies are further examples of cutting edge scientific developments in women's health care, La Ishá skin care products are not intended to be substitutes for medical care women with cancer are receiving and are not drugs. We do however, believe in the health benefits of pomegranates and hold out hope that science will continue to discover links to this incredible fruit and cancer prevention in women." For every mother, sister, daughter, aunt, and grandmother, we hope along with you, Sharon.

The time has come for this truly timeless beauty line that places the interests and well being of its customers ahead of the bottom line. La Ishá, with Sharon Gnatt Epel at the helm, is a trailblazing company offering safer alternatives for women by creating natural, organic skincare products that are effective, support good health, and enhance beauty at the same time.

A Valentine For You

A pink rose to express my appreciation, admiration, gratitude, happiness, and thankfulness to YOU for being the other half of the "we" in Here We Are. Happy Valentines's Day ~ Luci

Dating Tips: The "Don't" Rules of a First Date

Are you wondering why you aren't getting asked for a second date? Are you out of practice? Not sure what is or isn't working? Perhaps you just need to examine what NOT to do during your next "first" date.

Recently, while out to dinner, a couple that was obviously on a first date were seated next to us. Realizing that I was witnessing a helpful article for Here We Are, I wrote it down as it was happening. I confess, we eavesdropped through their entire dinner because the material was so good.

The tips you are about to read come directly from this couple's conversation. No doubt she was nervous. At one point, it was so painful to watch, I almost leaned over and said, "Too Much Information -- stop talking!" But that would have been AWKWARD! Instead, I share this list in hopes it will help another nervous gal navigate a first date.

The DON'T Rules of a First Date:

1. Don't talk about finances. Don't tell him how much money you make or what you own. Don't tell him how much you owe.

2. Don't talk about your friends. Don't tell him how funny your friends think you are. Don't tell him about your closet psycho friend - remember, birds of a feather flock together. Don't tell him how "crazy drunk" you and your friends were last summer in Cancun.

3. Don't invite yourself on a trip he is planning. You don't know him and it makes you sound overeager.

4. Don't talk about marriage. Don't tell him that you don't need to be married. Don't tell him that you want to be married by a certain age. Don't share your marital history.

5. Don't talk about private family details. Don't tell him about your bi-polar sister. Don't tell him about the rift you have with your brother-in-law. Don't tell him that your "parents fight whenever they drink but are happily married the rest of the time." (Yes, she actually said these words.)

6. Don't wear a trendy outfit unless it looks good on you. Don't buy the latest style to impress him if it doesn't look impressive on you. Don't wear anything that doesn't fit well.

7. Don't do all the talking. Don't forget to look at his plate -- if it is clear and yours is full, it is time to take a breath and eat!

8. Don't ask if he paid the check. If you are inclined to offer, don't pull out your wallet after the bill is paid.

It was clear from his body language and facial expressions, that this girl talked herself out of a second date. We think he decided at about #5 that this date was a dud.

We've all been in this woman's shoes (or maybe not, she was wearing ridiculously high platforms on which she could hardly walk resulting in very ungraceful movements) and have indulged in a few of these "don't" rules. By sharing them, I hope they are easy to recognize when you are on your own first date.

Have you ever said something on a first date you wish you hadn't? Done with dating? Then share them with your friend who isn't. These "Don't" Rules might just have her saying "I DO" one day!

10 Easy Tips To Stay Healthy This Winter

A Guest Post by Marie-Christine Lochot, NCTMB (republished with permission)

We are almost half-way through this winter season. Some people enjoy each day while others struggle to maintain their physical health and mental well-being. If you are counting the days until springtime, then try these 10 easy tips to help you be well this winter.

1. A good night's sleep is more important than ever. Studies show that half of Americans are sleep deprived. Eight hours a night is the goal. Interestingly, the hours spent sleeping before midnight are the most beneficial.

2. Eat warm, nutritious food. Cold foods like ice cream, salads, and iced drinks use a lot of energy to digest.

3. In traditional Chinese medicine, winter is "kidney" season. A few of the most beneficial foods to eat at this time are: shellfish, black beans, toasted walnuts. {Please avoid these foods if you have allergies.}

4. Keep exercising, especially walking, even when it is cold outside (or visit your local mall and window shop as you walk indoors). Try to take the stairs instead of the elevator. Short on time? Remember that taking mini-exercise breaks of 5 or 10 minutes several times a day is very effective.

5. Keep stretching. Establish a 10 minute routine every day of slow, easy stretches.

6. Think you are coming down with something? Using your fingers, tap the sides of your body for 1 to 2 minutes.

7. Laugh and have fun with family and friends. This will boost your immune system.

8 & 9. Keeping a positive attitude and expressing gratitude - inwardly and outwardly - are two of the most powerful things we can do to take care of ourselves. 

10. Treat yourself to a massage or an energy balancing session!

Like a lot of things, the more of these tips you practice, the better you will feel. Start today and enjoy the rest of the season, it will be over before you know it!

February: Warm and Fuzzy

Announcements, Updates, and Reminders

ANNOUNCEMENTS

Love, Love, Love: It's the month to celebrate being in love. When we think of this, we usually think in terms of a significant other. Hallmark, Godiva, and 1-800-Flowers spend a lot of money on advertising to sell a lot of cards, candy, and flowers. Why not make this month about loving yourself? While you are giving gifts to special people in your life, remember to treat yourself well, too. Indulge yourself with a new trinket, get a massage, meet a friend for lunch...do whatever makes you feel special. Don't wait, do it now, and enjoy it -- Live Your Life Out Loud. 

Speaking of Love and Diamonds: Congrats! You got engaged on Valentine's Day. There are lots of plans to make in the next few months, be sure one of them is a Prenuptial Agreement...especially if you own a business. Join us live on Sunday, February 21, at 6:30pm EST, on the Here We Are Radio Show. My guest, Judith Hartz, Esq., will discuss this thorny topic -- as well as WHO gets to keep the ring if you break up. Everyone knows someone who has been in this situation, so tune in and be prepared!

Hearty Hearts: Friday, Feb. 5 is the American Heart Association's national Go Red For Women day. Has it been a while since you put on your red dress and dancing shoes? Then get moving toward a healthier you with the program's BetterU, the 12 week Go Red Makeover That Can Change Your Life! 

Heartfelt Acts: February 15 - 21 is Random Acts of Kindness week. While I wish kindness was promoted everyday, at least there is a movement toward improving the lives of others. Studies show good deeds may even be good for your heart!

UPDATES

Gifts, Gifts, Gifts: The December gift donation has been made on behalf of the HWA readers to Canine Companions For Independence. HWA pledged $1.00 per the 28 comments posted on the blog during December which was added to a predetermined base amount. Thank you to all who commented, please continue sharing your thoughts; we love to hear from you.

The call for comments in January to win a new CD of the movie soundtrack for New Moon is over. The gift recipient will be announced in the March "Announcements..." article. Again, thank you all for contributing.

Facebook Review: A "Reviews" tab on the HWA page on FB has been added. We invite you to leave a review of your experience about the HWA blog or FB page. The February gift, a box of Godiva chocolate, will be given to one of the sweet reviewers (randomly selected).

REMINDERS:

Eat Red: Put some "red" on your plate with the following "good for you" foods: Apples, Cherries, Red Grapes, Raspberries, Strawberries, Pomegranates, and Red Onions. 

Valentine Crafts: Need some easy gifts for the kids to make? Check out these Sweets Served Up Without The Sugar for nifty, inexpensive ideas.

Wishing you a warm and fuzzy February!

Thirty days hath September,

April, June, and November.

February has twenty-eight alone,

All the rest have thirty-one;

Excepting leap year, -- that's the time

When February's days are twenty-nine.

~ The Return from Parnassus, 1606.